I don't know if my mom started it or not. I do know I started reading Dick Francis novels because of her, and that has something to do with it. I'm talking about figuring out what you'd name your race horse if you had one.
In my opinion, there are a couple of factors that go into choosing the perfect race horse name. Perhaps you want to rub other people's nose in the fact that, heh, heh, you had few exra million dollars to blow and decided to buy a filly. You might choose a name like "Spencer's Folly" or "Mid-Life Crisis."
Maybe you're new money but you want to sound classy, so pick something like "Aristedes" or "Verdigris." Or your horse's name can tell the world how hip you are(n't). So you call him "Horse.com" or "Impeachment."
Personally, I might just aim for the funny. I would get a kick out of making the announcers say my pony's name as he careens around the rails or finishes last. Or I might get political, or just go for the smut factor.
Anyway, this weekend as you watch the derby (and I know you will, with your mint julep in hand, wearing your big hat), try inserting some of the following - my picks in the Run for the Roses.
Spotted Dick
Thay It With a Lithp
Beans Beans the Musical Fruit
Skidmark!
Smell the Glove
Avada Kedavra
Coitus Interruptus
Your Mother's Double Chin
Sanjaya
10,000 Dead Nuns & Orphans
and
In my opinion, there are a couple of factors that go into choosing the perfect race horse name. Perhaps you want to rub other people's nose in the fact that, heh, heh, you had few exra million dollars to blow and decided to buy a filly. You might choose a name like "Spencer's Folly" or "Mid-Life Crisis."
Maybe you're new money but you want to sound classy, so pick something like "Aristedes" or "Verdigris." Or your horse's name can tell the world how hip you are(n't). So you call him "Horse.com" or "Impeachment."
Personally, I might just aim for the funny. I would get a kick out of making the announcers say my pony's name as he careens around the rails or finishes last. Or I might get political, or just go for the smut factor.
Anyway, this weekend as you watch the derby (and I know you will, with your mint julep in hand, wearing your big hat), try inserting some of the following - my picks in the Run for the Roses.
Spotted Dick
Thay It With a Lithp
Beans Beans the Musical Fruit
Skidmark!
Smell the Glove
Avada Kedavra
Coitus Interruptus
Your Mother's Double Chin
Sanjaya
10,000 Dead Nuns & Orphans
and
Nova Scotia Bound
8 comments:
I've already got a cat named Skidmark. He goes by Skids for short. He is pretty fast too.
Top five names for a racehorse:
5. GetUp&Go
4. SmartA$$
3. OfCourseOfCourse
2. SlowAsChristmas
1. Mucilage
I also like "Whats-his-name"
How about
Keep the Change
&
Direct Deposit ?
How about, "Hey there's a man with a gun in the stands" I mean, yeah, it's long. But think about the intimidation factor on the other jockeys as they're running the race trying to keep their mind off sniper fire. In the annals of racing, they'll say that H.T.A.M.W.A.G.I.T.S. really brought the sport of racing to a new level--until someone named their horse, "Watch Out! Oil Slick!"
The roommate announced this morning that they have a new baby in her family. Understand that they are horsey people and this really means a new colt. Frontrunner names are Festus and Flashdrive. In this line colts are named with and "F" and fillies with a "B" (I think). Any other suggestions?
Fisticuffs
Flushgugenner
Find Me a Towel!
Beans Beans the Musical Fruit
Buttinsky
Barbie's Dream Horse
Monstro - I love them both. I alos like "The One With The Tail."
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